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I was reading an issue of “Wired” magazine the other day at the dentist’s office and read an article titled: “Twitter’s New Comedy Genre – The 140-Character One-Liner”.  It then provided some funny twitter posts from comedians and celebrities.

The following one made me laugh so hard:

Had my son’s hearing tested because he’s always yelling. Turns out he’s just an asshole 😦
Kelly Oxford

I just looked up Kelly Oxford on Twitter and she’s now my new favorite person.  

Here are some other funny Twitter posts by her (I’m copying these straight from her Twitter site):

Told my son “Jay-Z and Beyonce are having a baby.” He laughed and said, “Imagine what they’ll name it!” And now he’s my favorite.

BORED? Smile, nod and rub hands together as you enter an elevator. Shout, “THIS IS IT!” Don’t turn around to face the door. Not illegal.

Want to know the worst thing about yourself? Hang out with a kid for an hour, then ask them.

If you don’t have company or a package coming, don’t answer the doorbell. You’re nobody’s bitch.

I wonder how old Jenna Jameson’s twin sons will be when they realize they weren’t the first two guys in her at the same time?

In church right now? Stand up and ask, “Will it be young hot Jesus that comes back or zombie Jesus?” GIVE THEM TIME TO THINK IT OUT.

Now, go and check out her actual Twitter page: @kellyoxford.

Also, here is the link to the “Wired” article I was reading:


About Palm Trees & Bare Feet

Travel. Animals. Writing. Photography. Books. Movies. Art. Creating. Dreaming. Thinking. Exploring. Adventure. Living.

2 responses »

  1. the only mommy blogger I like, that Kelly Oxford


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